Give Yourself Permission
Do you need a permission slip?
We all remember being a kid in school with an awesome field trip coming up. Your teacher would sell the class on it, "We're going to the zoo April 14 to see the new lion cubs and learn about African Wildlife!" The countdown would be on, the classroom buzzing with excitement, and you'd carry your permission slip home to your parents for their signature.
It would feel weird leaving school on the bus to the zoo on April 14 because it's out of the routine, but that was what made it so fun! You'd see lion cubs! You wouldn't be stuck at a desk! You'd sit and chat with your friends all day! But to receive this great childhood gift of a field trip, you needed permission first.
How many of us build email lists? You can't just sign up everyone you know -- it's known as permission marketing. You require a person's permission to put them on your email list.
Think of all the things we need another person's permission to do.
A boss needs to sign off on a vacation request. My landlord needs written permission to leave a package in my home when I'm not around. In order to start a surgery, a patient must sign a consent for the procedure. So many times in our lives we give another permission to do something or we ask permission of them for us to do or have something.
How often do you sit down and look at what your goals are and give yourself permission to work on them?
What do you need to give yourself permission to do, have or be?
Do you need permission to:
- Change
- Move forward
- Move out
- Quit something that no longer serves you
- Get well
- Get angry
- Work on getting in shape
- Take a night off for yourself
- Write that Great American Novel
- Lost that 12, 20, 30 pounds
- Buy yourself a little something
- Invest in a costly step towards a goal
- Drop a bad habit like smoking or soda consumption
- Fix your finances
Whether the change is big or small, we tend to resist. We're human, it's what we do.
Step 1: Be conscious of your resistance!
Why beat yourself up for something that's a natural part of change? Remember:
Resistance is a natural part of change!
Are you detecting it in yourself? How are you resisting? By procrastinating? By escaping? By over-scheduling yourself to do anything but making your change as a subconscious act of avoidance? However you do it, just notice that you do it. Be present with your resistance. Give it room for a few minutes. Sit with it like it's a friend sitting across from you at a table in a coffee shop.
Except your resistance is not your friend!
Would you really give space to your resistance like that? Would you let it -- if it were a person -- sit across from you at the coffee shop? Would you let it vent and blab its negativity across from you as you enjoy your cappuccino? Would you let it rent space in your head like that and take up your time? Hell no!
Now do you see why being present with it is the first step? Be present with it for a minute and you will discover this isn't what you want!
Step 2: Let it go!
Perform a ceremony. There are a variety of ways you can do this. Write "resistance" on a piece of paper and burn it or rip it up. Put it through your shredder. Get angry at it! Do what you have to do!
Step 3: Give yourself permission!
You now have permission to move forward. Go ahead! Give it to yourself! Repeat after me:
I, (state your name), hereby give myself permission to_____________. I have performed a ceremony to let go of my resistance. I give myself further instruction to just sit and be present next time resistance comes up and repeat the process: sit with it, be present with it, let it go, then give myself permission to ignore my nagging doubts and move forward! From now on, I vow to give myself permission to move forward on creating a life in which I am working on my dreams. I give myself permission to move forward on whatever I have been slacking on due to fear, doubt, or any uncertainty about myself and my abilities. I can do it! I give myself permission to do it! I give myself permission to let no thing, person, or emotion hold me back.
Please share in the comments what you are giving yourself permission to do right now! I want to know what's important to you and what you are moving forward on.