No! A life coach’s job isn’t to tell you what to do.

No! A life coach’s job isn’t to tell you what to do.

People often wonder if hiring a life coach is like hiring a magician who will give them shortcuts, like telling them what to do and when. If you think you need to hire a life coach because you feel like you just need someone to tell you what to do, I’m here to tell you something very important.

No, you don't.

No, really, you do not.

A friend said this to me once, when I was first getting into my life coaching classes back in 2016 and it’s stuck with me ever since. She told me:

I need someone to tell me what to do!

I was horrified. Are there really people out there who just want to hire me to tell them what to do and how to do it? Not because I’m great at it but because they are lost, facing decision fatigue, and just want the quickest way out of burnout. (BTW, I am not “great at it.” I’m a good coach, but you have your own answers!)

Let's meditate on this idea for a quick minute. Let's change some beliefs here.

My intention as a life coach is not for you to hire me so that someone (me) can tell you what to do. I know what it means to struggle, to feel lost, and be filled with doubts. That may be the kind of place where you wish someone would come along and tell you what to do just to fix it.

Newsflash: No one is coming to save you or give you the answers.

Let’s say for just one moment that there is a magic fairy godmother who comes along and—poof—fixes whatever it is that’s bothering you. The Fairy Godmother manages to make life pretty, but she robs you of your lesson.

In that stolen lesson you miss out on a few key ideas that can change your life:

• Our own answers are inside us
• You don’t need to be “fixed”
• No one is coming to save you (I had to say it again)
• There are no quick & easy ways to feel better ❤️‍🩹

When we want someone to tell us what to do and give us the magic answers it’s usually because we don't trust ourselves. But we must learn to trust. That’s where we will learn to become more powerful, exuberant, joyful, and confident.

We want outside instructions because we doubt ourselves, our abilities, and because we are sitting on a pity pot. I want to help you get out of self-doubt and raise your self-esteem so that you never value another person’s answers above your own ever again.

How to get off the pity pot?

Own your mistakes. Don’t seek perfection. Own your choices! Practice acceptance. Live in the NOW. Even with me as your coach, change is truly up to you, not me. I will not coach you into doing what I tell you to do. That sounds like some crazy AA cult stuff!

I will, however, coach you to listen to your own inner voice. That voice will tell you the answers; I will help you access it! The starting point is you—not me. I’m here to change lives, not give orders.

Oh yes, they exist.

The life coaches who claim they are going to tell you exactly what to do and how to do it are running amok. I’ve crossed paths with them. When I was working detox, I had a client whose “life coach” actually dragged them to detox and got involved in the intake process. 🙄 Horrible, bad form!

I don’t support that style of coaching. In fact, I find it unprofessional! If you’re curious, I wrote a post a while back in defense of life coaching because —as you can tell— life coaches take a lot of heat thanks to a few bad apples.

If you’re ready to find your own answers and restore your confidence, book an online life coaching session