“New year, new you” is just such a weird battle cry, isn’t it?
Because it’s cheesy and gimmicky, I just don’t hop on the “New Year, New You” life coaching bandwagon.
I love personal development and changes — don’t get me wrong. But you can do it any day of the year. For true change, you must engage in your own personal development EVERY day of the year. January is auspicious in most cultural traditions — but no more special than any other month.
So if you’re only in the process of trying to figure out if you want to work with a coach, you’ve come to the right place. There’s no “January pressure” here. No huge, limited-time sales. None of that.
I’d rather you get to know the kind of coach I am through all the content I’ve spent years posting. I’m not some fly-by-night Internet hustler. I work with real people on real problems. I’m not going to throw toxic positivity, hustle culture, or “boss babe” trends at you.
I want to help you make changes for a more joyful, peaceful, contented life. I want you to be happy; I just understand that “happy” means different things to different people. I think there’s a lot of selling in the online sphere. I’m not here to sell. In fact, I truly suck at selling! I’m not here to sell you a brand of happy that looks good on Instagram. I’m not here to lob gimmicks at you.
I’m here 365 days a year. There’s no hurry. There’s no competition. If you’re here to just poke around and see what I am all about, that is AWESOME! That’s why I built this website in the first place! I figured if I just put up genuine content consistently, the people who resonate with it will find me. I’m not trying to suck in the whole Internet to buy my materials and sessions. Hence, I made a podcast!
Yes, it’s 2020 now. No, you don’t have to become a new human overnight. Yes, feel free to challenge yourself. But do NOT try to put too much pressure on yourself. Pick one thing. Pick one change to make it and make it. Do it as slowly as you have to. Screw it up. Start again. Give yourself the freedom to do that.
You won’t do it right. You won’t be perfect at it. So you just keep trying until it becomes the change you want it to be. In that process, you learn and reap the benefits. Then, once you’ve become successful at making the desired change, you move on to the next one.
I’m a real person with a real job. Coaching is a side thing for me again. I don’t know if that will change or when. A year ago I was trying to make this my full-time, work-from-home job. I made a lot of mistakes and learned so much. Now I have gained the type of knowledge I can’t buy anywhere. I wouldn’t go back and undo any of it; I have no regrets. It actually made me more successful in my other career of journalism…which is not at all how I thought things would work out.
It literally makes no sense. But that’s life — it’s non-linear. As is success.
There were some things that really took off for me in 2019. I am getting better at de-cluttering, ever trying to achieve some type of minimalism. I have a huge pile of daily reading that is a part of my spiritual journey. The pile is NOT minimalistic at all! My daily reading consists of the Bible, A Course in Miracles, a devotional or two, and a prayer journal plus a few others. This has become a consistent habit. That’s the best thing I learned to do last year — to create consistent habits.
Creating consistent habits is hard!
If you want to do daily readings, for example, you may have to do what I did, which is create not just time but space. My dining room table always has this pile of books on it. They are always there for morning and evening readings. Some days, I only have time to read one devotional. Some days, I can spend an hour going deep. But in between, I don’t beat myself up. Life happens. Sometimes, I need rest more.
There are days each week I do nothing at all. Duties at home and work leave me less time to be consistent. I don’t give up or beat myself up. I just know I will pick up the reading and studying again when I am able. My books aren’t going to run away from me in anger if I forget them for a couple days!
I’m all about incremental change. I’ve tried all the changes all the ways. I once switched jobs, homes, and cars on pretty much the same day. I wouldn’t recommend it! The point is to create change that is easy and welcome so you actually want to do it.
For example, I suck at going to the gym.
I am going through a major life change. It’s exhausting. (More on that in a future post). Thought I wanted to go to the gym all week long — or at least the weekends — it wasn’t possible. I don’t have the energy or time. I cannot do ALL the things right now. I have a new job and schedule my body and mind are adjusting to, so I’m just giving myself grace. Next weekend is another chance to work on creating a consistent gym habit. I took a step back this weekend and realized that NEXT MONTH is my best chance to create a solid and consistent gym habit for many reasons.
I’ve realized through trial and error I can only do so much at once.
Let me adjust to the new job and schedule right now. A healthy sleeping and eating schedule to fuel body and mind for the big change is my top priority. I am doing some exercise and yoga at home in my living room in small doses. This is OK! I want to do more and I will when the time is right. Accepting where I am, prioritizing what’s important, honoring the present, and starting small are ways I have learned to make changes that work for me.
I resist all the “hustle” and “get it girl” mentality.
I’m not a calorie-counter, I’m not trying to “push it” or feel any burn. I am not in competition. I totally blew off a nutritional seminar at my gym during the week. I prefer to cultivate a positive and healthy body image. My body is enough as it is. I need to love it as it is. I know I need to lower my blood pressure, eat less salt, and manage my stress. I am in this process and it’s all good! I feel good about it and that’s all that matters.
I hope you’re able to give yourself the same grace. I hope you don’t feel pressured into striving or hustling in January. I hope you don’t feel the need to entirely re-create everything about yourself, join a fad diet, or fall for gimmicky January trends. Remember, you are enough as you are. You are wonderful and powerful. You are the architect of your own destiny EVERY day of every year. You can begin again at any time.