Top Five Blogs On Destiny Architecture Life Coaching & Reiki For 2020
This was your most-read stuff, which is awesome to see because it lets me know what’s important to you and that I — a solopreneur — am on the right track as this one woman show.
Your favorite Destiny Architecture blogs of 2020 also showed me that...well, it’s time to stop being a one-woman show and bring in some of my friends as well. More on that in a bit...
But first, let’s get to it, your TOP 5 favorite blogs of the year! Here’s what you read the most in 2020:
5. Fearless 5 Podcast, Season 3, Episode #36 — Coming Out Of The Chaos
Apparently, this very short blog with the Fearless 5 podcast attached struck a chord and it’s something I’ve talked about so many times this year on F5. You don’t have to “be positive” or “make the most” of this current pandemic ordeal we are enduring. Let’s survive this. Let’s just do that.
4. How To Get Unstuck:
The fact that everyone loved this blog on how to get unstuck to nearly the top of the 2020 list kind of saddens me. This means many are feeling stuck. Good news is — I’ve been there. If I can get out of the stuckness, SO CAN YOU!
I remember many times in life feeling stuck and being upset about it. But it’s OK — it’s just life and the Universe giving you a little nudge to move forward. If it were comfy, you wouldn’t change.
I felt it after years of working in radio as an on-air talent but not earning my worth and I was tired of settling. But what would I do? How would I take my skills into a new career? Who would hire me? How would I buy my cat his food? Would I ever make money doing what I love ever again?
I jumped careers into social work and the addiction field but I left the radio door open. I dove into working in the addiction field, first in the recovery center and then the detox. Turns out, the gift of gab is a great thing to have in those jobs! I pivoted again and again. Back to radio, into life coaching (not in that order) and eventually into TV.
I learned you can leave a career no matter how long you’ve been in it.
I learned you can also return to that career — and leave it again (for the same reasons you left in the first place).
I learned you can try a new career still again...and I did. In six years, I’ve tried leaving radio, returning to it, nearly enrolled in college for addictions counseling, changed my mind on that at the last minute, learned to become a certified transformational life coach, and got into TV... ALL of those were learning experiences. I loved every single one!
I learned to take calculated risks and the only thing I can truly bet on is myself.
3. What I’ve Learned From Seven Years Of Sobreity:
Sobriety blogs are always popular when I look back on the year and see what you Destiny Architects really liked. In 2020, I celebrated my seventh year (in a row!) of being sober off alcohol and 19 years off drugs. I’m pretty proud of this. So I wrote this blog.
2020 was a tough year for everyone. I know many probably turned to a bottle or a pill or a drug of some kind in a way they hadn’t before. Maybe even for the first time. But it’s not too late if that’s you. There’s no shame here.
I’m candid and fearless in what I share and I am pretty open about leaving the recovery community and why — because of the toxicity of it. I also discovered there’s an anti-12-step community that is also NOT my flavor because they just bash the recovery community but have their own toxicity. I just don’t fit in. I also consider myself “recovered” and not perpetually “in recovery.” At some point, you have to grow up and decide who you are. I decided I am recovered.
I’ll admit as 2020 raged on and became more stressful, I thought a couple times about attending online 12-step meetings but I couldn’t bring myself to do it. I got out. I left; it would be like returning to a bad ex-boyfriend.
I’ve been reading “The Freedom Model” again and continue to believe abstinence from substances is best for me, as is steering clear of the ‘recovery community.’ I don’t think I had realized how much I’d been shunned for leaving the confines of AA until this year when a dear friend from that community died and no one cared to tell me. I really am persona non grata in the 12-step community.
They truly think if you leave as I have, you are damaged goods and YOU WILL USE DRUGS AND ALCOHOL AGAIN. It’s simply not true. But that community also thinks ALL behavior is OK as long as someone doesn’t use, so even if they stalk, harass, or do anything unethical, they can come around. Call it out and I get greeted with, “But did they use?”
I demand more.
I don’t want to just be a sober person. I wanted to become a better person, too. I wanted to grow. I wanted to earn more money and get better work. A lot of AA “elders” discouraged that and told me to be grateful for what I had and where I was. The thinking was always, “Shut up and play small, you aren’t grateful enough, you aren’t being spiritual enough, you need a meeting.” But wanting to pay bills and live just a good life ins’t much to aspire to...wanting to better one’s character or learn new things that MAY contradict an 81-year-old book aren’t things one should have to second guess. I got tired of earning browning points for self-deprecation in a group setting.
So I left and it didn’t happen overnight but life did get better.
I stayed sober. I am growing into a better life with higher-paying work. I signed up for an awesome Bible study this year and online Yoga Teacher Training. I just signed up for another online yoga community to further my spiritual enrichment. I’ve re-evaluated my friendships and have kept only the ones enhancing my life. I choose people to be in my life who also want to grow. I’m going after dreams I had long been talked out of or discouraged from when I operated in the 12-step setting. I’ve worked on my mental health and managing my anxiety — all without medication.
Will some use leaving the frustrating 12-step community as their excuse to use? Maybe. But do some of us leave and then go on to live better, fuller, more confident, and happy lives? Hell yes! I left and the longer I’m out the better I get. The more I grow.
2. Fearless 5 Podcast: The 2nd Reiki Boundary is Respect:
This is a whole series! You can find it on the Destiny Architecture Patreon in detail. The Patreon is where I share online Reiki lessons and information about the traditional Japanese art of Usui Reiki as I am a Reiki Master.
This was a series on Reiki Boundaries I decided to start because it needed to be said and I personally haven’t heard a Reiki Master go into depth on the important of boundaries in this hands-on healing art — or what those should be.
Reiki Practitioners, you NEED boundaries. If you are like me, you came to the art of Reiki with ZERO boundaries. You come led to Reiki, led to HEAL OTHERS, and yet don’t yet have the appropriate boundaries to do it.
I was like that once.
It was 2012, I was coming to Reiki to help myself learn to manage stress and finally put something into my self-care tool box. “Self-Care” wasn’t a buzzword yet back then and I wasn’t yet sober. I was seeking some way to be less of a hot mess. So I picked learning Reiki 1 and marathon running as my ways — I kid you not. We all have to start somewhere. My ways used to be extreme fitness and some form of taking care of my body I’d abused so much, like massage, polarity, cranial sacral, and then — Reiki.
I didn’t want to do Reiki on others or even start a business that would ultimately lead me to coaching — and now — yoga teacher training. I just wanted some way to relax and something that would maybe help me meditate. I could meditate if I could sit still — and I could — as long as I ran 18 miles first and wore myself out. Yes — I was drinking back then, too. I needed all the help in the world! I also needed to be taught boundaries and didn’t know it!
In the Reiki world today, I still see people who need to learn boundaries. We tend to be drawn the most to the lessons we need to learn — and Reiki people NEED to learn this stuff. Start reading! Join the Patreon today!
1. Changing Direction, #BlackLivesMatter, and Patreon:
I can’t believe this was my top, most-read blog of 2020! I didn’t think anyone would care about this. But I also figured the right people would find it. I knew true Destiny Architects would come and appreciate it. I continue to keep racist, former friends away from me since I saw their true self over summer. Lots of people unfriend me for calling it out and that’s fantastic. The circle is smaller.
This post said what my purpose would be going forward and let me recommit right here. There have been more Fearless 5 Podcasts and Patreon posts.
ALL my Reiki and coaching services have moved online only until the pandemic is over — and also so I can work from anywhere. The future is location-independent. I am not ending months sitting at home in a red zone by staying here. So you can continue to work with me online via Zoom from anywhere in the world! It doesn’t matter where you are or where I am — whatever the time zones, I’ll make it work!
All material will continue to be science-based over bullshit-based. No conspiracy theories here. At Destiny Architecture, we wear masks, trust science, and will be first in line for the damn vaccine when it’s our turn.
And also coming — the amplification of non-white voices in this space. I will admit since I wrote this blog on June 28th, I have yet to bring in a non-white voice to the blog. I continue to look to BIPOC voices and work to be culturally aware as I embark on my yoga journey to becoming a teacher.
It’s been frustrating even in the yoga school I am attending (online) as I see MANY white yoga teachers in training who use Namaste like it’s “Aloha” and could care less about being trauma informed or whether or not they are culturally appropriating the art of yoga.
I don’t want to be one of those. I know better. I have to do better.
So my plan heading into 2021 is to keep holding myself accountable and to (very soon) start featuring non-white voices in this space about ALL things life coaching, Reiki, yoga, and spirituality. There needs to be science voices, too.
This blog has been 100% MY VOICE for the past 4+ years and I thank you from the bottom of my heart for being here for it.
Thank you for getting in touch, grabbing a download, and booking your Reiki and Coaching sessions. Thanks for getting on the mailing list! Thanks for believing in me as a coach and coming by to read the blog. Thank you for listening to the Fearless 5 podcast and coming along on this journey with me! I’m so glad you’re here.
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