“What would a life coach say, Heather?”

I was put on the spot today with this one. Someone was sharing their predicament and someone else turned to me and said this. “You’re a life coach, so what would you say about this?”

In social work, I often have the answers. Have you done this yet? Did you go here? Did you try this? Have you accessed this resource yet?

When it comes to my coaching, however, you have the answers. Yes, you. My lovely client, the answers are within you. So often the answer is to ask you more questions. If you had the answers you wouldn’t be looking for a coach. But it’s not my job to tell you what to do and how to do it. It’s my job to help you figure out what you are going to choose to do and how you want to do it.

In answer to, “what would a life coach say,” my reply is to dig.

I’m going to ask you a ton of questions. I want to meet you where you’re at — but then I want to take you further. Let’s find new edges. Let’s see which boundaries of yours you’re ready to push. I want to help you have those “a-ha moments,” that help you define what you want and how to get it.

Most people aren’t ready to make huge changes overnight. I find many are afraid to make any change sometimes. No matter how small, if there is risk involved, people dig in their heels. Some people want to know what my take is, or what I would do if I were them. I find it highly inappropriate to co-opt others’ decision making in that way. I don’t answer those requests with what people think they want to hear. I’m not an advice-giver.

Believe it or not, being a coach doesn’t make me a giver of canned answers. I’m your life coach. I’m here to bring out the best in you. I’m here to push you past your point of comfort. Not too far — we aren’t trying to break you here. I’m working on motivating you. I want to help you find clarity. I can coach you on your personal life, career, creativity, changing careers, and anything else you can think of that will help you to change your life for the better.

I’m going to ask you if the way you are living is congruent with the goals you want to accomplish. I’m going to ask you about your values and what makes you happy. I’m going to honor your uniqueness without delving into exceptionalism. I plan to honor your confidences and keep your privacy.

Do I want you living your best life? Absolutely! I’m here to get you from where you are now to whatever you believe is living your best life. I’m here to walk with you on that path — not carry you. I’m here for that journey as your coach and cheerleader.

So, what would a life coach say? All this and more. Let’s get started anytime!